The Excretion Song (to the tune of "Hotel California" by Don "loop of" Henle, et al)

Lyrics by Brooks Park

West Hills High School

Science Department

On a warm West Hills walkway,

NOT walking on the grass

Just finished my Reading Logs

for my favorite class,

Up ahead in the distance,

I’d have to run or be late,

The line was long and my bladder full,

I had to stop to urinate.

This is the story of the kidney,

and it starts with the cell,

I shouldn’t have had 15 refills

at Taco Bell,

Well the cell takes in the sugar

and releases the wastes

which travel through the blood stream

to RENAL arteries and veins.

Blood flow in the glomerulus

capillary pressure is high,

Plasma can leak through the walls,

but blood cells can’t get by,

In the Bowman’s capsule,

filtrate is taken in,

Bad stuff stays in the tubule

water is absorbed again.

The tubule is definitely twisted

both proximal and distal

don’t forget the loop of Henle

like a trombone slide in the middle

These tubules do an important job

so your kidneys you should not "DIS"

If they stopped functioning

You’d be hooked up to Dialysis...

Our story continues in the collecting duct

Where the urine flows

Into the RENAL PELVIS,

And then the URETERS, you know where it goes

To the bladder which fills up

And sends a message to your brain

To eliminate the bad stuff

again and again.....

I was a little late to class,

Its one I would hate to have missed,

My BIO teacher was really, really cool

He wasn’t even....MAD,

And in my empty bladder

I could feel it filling again

because those hard-working kidneys

filter twenty-four seven....

AIR GUITAR SOLO.......to fade

Optional (alternate) Chorus: